CHANGING AND GROWING (I HOPE)

 

ME PEEPING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE CONTEMPLATING WHETHER IT’S GONNA HURT ME BE LIKE:

Change is extremely scary, no doubt. So many uncertainties, unpredictable circumstances, a new environment, new people, facing tougher and more demanding challenges… I am absolutely terrified right at where I am now. Change slowly seeping into my everyday life and pulling me away from the things I’m most comfortable with and hold dear to me. 

I know. I know that this opportunity will benefit me in so so many ways beyond what I’ve imagined for myself. I know that this will actually help me achieve those goals I’ve always dreamt of. I know that this will will help me fulfil those fantasies of living that life. 

But, I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want to accept that it’s all going to end like that. After everything I’ve been through for the past 8 years in the same environment and around the same people. I don’t want to just leave everything I’ve ever worked for. 

My friends - who have done so much for me. One of the first people I actually, genuinely enjoy being around. People who get my humour, listen to me, relate to me, comfort me, gossip with me, challenge me - people who like me for me…

Is change long overdue for me? Probably - after reading this little rant again and cringing several times at how bad I try to convey the void I’m feeling. I know I can’t hide and stay in my comfort zone forever. I know that things were going to change, eventually, in a mere few years time. I just didn’t expect it to happen to me that soon…

Yes, I know this probably sound a little bit heavy? I tried my best to relate my story without revealing the actual facts and people involved too ;) Hopefully, there will be y’all out there who understands yk? Will write again soon! 

XOXO ANNABEL