A VOID OF FEELING

 

“HEY, JUST CHILLING & CONTEMPLATING LIFE YK?”

So, recently I’ve been feeling a lil bit weird, perhaps? Wait, no. Honestly, I don’t know what I’ve been feeling nowadays… it’s complicated. Sometimes I would suddenly feel bursts of energy and goof around and laugh and joke then sometimes I would get so emotional over small irrelevant things. Sometimes I get so angry and upset… Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed, sometimes I feel like I’m drowning… Sometimes I feel nothing at all- like a void, numb.

It feels like walking through something hollow and getting stuck there while desperately trying to find a way out- desperately trying to find that something to stop making you feel this way. Anything at all. But, it’s dark and you can hardly see. You feel those things like shadows around you but you can’t hold onto them. You feel numb, like there’s a void or something is missing. Emptiness maybe? 

I’ve been feeling like that a lot. I don’t know why. Even with so many things to occupy myself with like school, tuitions, friends, journaling and reading. Even with doing things I enjoy and being around people I love, I still feel empty. I still feel as if I’m doing all of this for nothing. But why is this happening?? Aren’t these things supposed to make me feel happy and full? Then, why do I feel like this all the time?

This is basically a rant tbh of what I’ve been feeling. I really needed to get it out. Maybe there’s somebody out there who’ll relate to me somehow? We’ll see :p

XOXO ANNABEL