WAVES OF FEELINGS

"FEELINGS ARE JUST LIKE WAVES, YOU CAN'T STOP THEM FROM COMING, BUT WE CAN CHOOSE WHICH ONE TO SURF." (THROWBACK TO WHEN I WENT KAYAKING! WAVES ARE SCARY WHEN U KAYAK! WE (&M) ALMOST CAPSIZED COS OF IT LOLOL :P)

So, hi again! This was definitely an impromptu checkup... I feel like I needed to rant suddenly. lol so why not do it on a public website where anyone can read it anywhere and anytime am i right??? But on a serious note, I am starting to feel *that* way again... It's not a good feeling. I'm feeling numb. Am I burnt out?? Even on holiday??? Is that possible?? How can I be burnt out when i spend most of my days at home just looking at my phone and eating and watching TV??? I don't know why but i just feel so numb and useless yk? At the beginning of the holiday, I had so many aspirations to make my first summer break a worthwhile one! I suddenly felt the urge to learn piano, I felt like cooking and baking a lot, I felt so creative and wanted to do art and I even felt like studying! I remember that time when i suddenly had this creative boost of motivation and energy... It felt so good. It felt as if I was a useful person? Had a purpose? Had a soul??? Idk tbh. I know this sounds so cheesy. But i felt like i was being me yk? I haven't felt that way in so long... It was nice :)

But right now? I feel really lost. I know I am wasting my time right now. Wasting days and weeks I could have turned into something productive and fruitful. But look at me now, watching shows 24/7, scrolling on YT and IG, and ranting on here that I am wasting my time while wasting my time ranting on here. I am getting worse at mental maths day by day and i'm not doing anything about it. I am gaining weight and is becoming unhealthier day by day and i'm also not doing anything about it. I feel i sleep enough but why do i still have such prominent eye bags??? What is wrong with me?? Why am I so drained when I've been doing nothing??? Why do I feel this way? 

Emotions do be messing my brain up once in a while haiya. Will update soon :]

XOXO ANNABEL